


Not Enough

by Pikachunicorn



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, M/M, X-force - Freeform, necrosha, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 22:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2827829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pikachunicorn/pseuds/Pikachunicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kevin hates Josh more than anything. He hates that Josh let Laurie die. He hates that Josh is everything he's not. And he hates that he's so madly in love with Elixir, but will never be good enough. But now he's powerful enough to make Josh pay. And now, he's going to kill Josh Foley.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Set as an alternate ending to Necrosha. Uses some of the lines from the original book. Written for a 'one thing your character would change' prompt on my Elixir RP account.

It's dark. Josh's heart races fast and his mutation ensures he's irritatingly aware of that. The lacerations and other wounds that spoil his flawless gold skin knit back together until they are no longer visible and cause no discomfort to the mutant. The smell of death from the limp bodies around him causes him to wretch. Josh Foley is no stranger to death, but he is definitely not fond of it.  
There is little sound here - little light and little sound - which adds to the eerie sensation that causes Josh's body to kickstart into ultra-alert. He's spent so long being a first aid kit; he's forgotten what it feels like to be a soldier. But now he remembers, and he hates it.  
"Kevin." Josh's voice echoes through the silence, accompanied by the extremely distant sound of gunfire.  
"It's actually perfect you're here, Foley." Kevin is out of the shadows and leaning casually against the wall in seconds.  
"What game are you playing? What did she do to you? This isn't you, Kev." Josh whispers, his voice unable to reach anything louder. He feels weak. _Too weak._  
"Don't call me that!" Kevin yells suddenly, but Josh refuses to reward him with even a small start.  
"But that's your name." Josh takes a wary step toward the brunette.  
"No!" Kevin's voice is loud and sharp, his vampire-like affliction making him sound strangely godlike. "My name is Wither. It means to decay. To destroy. To cease all growth and life. To _die_!"  
"Don't you dare try to drag me into some sort of pity parade, Ford!" Josh snaps, though his heart breaks at Kevin's words.  
"Let's look at _you_ now, yeah? I know how much you _love_ to talk about yourself." Kevin strolls over and begins to circle Josh slowly, breathing on the healer's neck. "'Elixir'. _Noun_. A magical or medicinal mixture, liquid or potion." Kevin's eyes trail over Josh's body as he continues to circle him. "A medicinal potion? Doesn't that mean you're supposed to fix things? Heal people? _Save_ people?"  
"What is this about? Your mutation? Are you angry I couldn't change your DNA? That's pathetic!" Josh growls. His eyes follow Kevin's movements closely.  
"No! This is about her! You let her die!" Kevin shoves Josh back against the wall. "You were supposed to protect her!"  
"I tried! I did everything I could to help her!" A lump rises in Josh's throat at the mention of Laurie and her death.  
"Not enough!" Kevin yells.  
"You think I don't know that?! You think I don't hate myself every day for not being able to save her." Josh pushes Kevin back and steps up to him, their faces less than an inch apart. "Don't you dare think that you know what it feels like to lose someone that way, because you don't!"  
"I loved her!" Kevin's voice catches and Josh notes that he actually sounds /human/ for the first time since he's arrived here.  
"So did I, Kev." Josh tone softens and the feeling of weakness multiplies. "You have no idea-"  
"I have every idea, Elixir!" Kevin's harshness returns and Josh is suddenly aware of how close Kevin's face is. His lips. His skin. His death touch. "Laurie is dead because of _you_! You didn't protect her! I would have! You never cared for her, Foley... You're supposed to save people... And you let her die!!"  
"No!" Josh gasps, noting Kevin's sharpened canines now.  
"Do you know how long that killing you has been all I can think about?" Kevin growls, baring his vampiric fangs more. "And now I'm going to do it!"  
"What did she do to you?" Josh begs, locking his eyes with Kevin's.  
"Why do you care, Foley?! It doesn't matter who helped me become this, or how they did it - what matters is that I'm finally good enough!" Kevin's lips take a sadistic grin that sends a shiver down Josh's spine and Josh suddenly realizes that this is no longer the Wither he knew. "I'm finally going to kill the freak who fucked with my head!"  
"I didn't mean to hurt you, Kevin! If I did, I'm sorry! I never wanted that!" Josh stumbles backwards, shaking his head.  
Kevin thrusts his hands towards Josh, who promptly catches them in his own. Josh moans loudly as he feels Kevin's now advanced mutation eating away at his palms.  
"I've wanted to hear you shout out in pain for so long, Foley! You have no idea how much you've screwed me over!" Kevin hisses, relishing Josh's pain.  
"Kevin, please!" Josh moans, his brow furrowing as he sets his mutation to eradicate the sensation tearing through his skin.  
"No! Why can't I- How-" Kevin stutters, a lost look in his eyes.  
"I don't want to hurt you..." Josh whispers, looking into Kevin's eyes again. "Let me fix this - what she's done!"  
"I _am_ fixed. Selene fixed me!" Kevin's frustration increases rapidly at the sound of Josh's calm tone.  
"You didn't need fixing! You were perfect! She broke you!" Josh's voice is cut off by a sob that threatens him, rising in his throat.  
"No! She made me more! She cares about me!" Kevin's canines add a sharp edge to his words. "No one back at that fucking school ever cared!"  
"I cared!" Josh yells suddenly, stumbling backwards. His voice lowers more as he continues. "I _care_ , Kev."  
"No!" Josh notes now that it looks like Kevin could actually be crying, but ignores this thought, deeming it insane. "You don't care! You never cared! It was always Laurie, or Rahne!"  
"You seriously don't get it, Wither." Josh takes a deep breath, falling back against the wall and sliding down it slowly, until he sits on the ground staring straight ahead. "You mean more than you could ever understand."  
"Stand up, Foley! Fight me!" Kevin's words come out like a plea. "Why won't you fight me?!"  
"Please..." Josh drops his head just as Kevin sends a foot into his ribs.  
"Challenge me!" Kevin orders, kicking Josh again. Josh feels three ribs in his left side fracture and crack, but simply closes his watering eyes and wills the bones to bond back into place.  
"Coward!" Kevin yells, dropping to his hunches in front of Josh and lifting his hand to place just millimetres from Josh's face. "Let's see how beautiful you are when the flesh rots away from your skull."  
"Kevin..." Josh simply shakes his head. His expression is not one of fear, but one of pity.  
"Why are you doing this?!" Kevin's sharp, vampiric features suddenly lose their harshness as he actually begins to _cry_. Josh is certain of it now.  
"I'm not doing anything." Josh whispers, not allowing his gaze to falter from Kevin's eyes.  
"This isn't how this was supposed to happen!" Kevin sobs, and it takes all of Josh's control not to show his surprise at the situation. "I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me!"  
"I've never hurt you, Kevin." Josh replies calmly, ignoring the fact Kevin Ford is falling apart in front of him.  
"You don't see it, do you?" A little of Kevin's frustration resurfaces and he leans forward suddenly and shoves Josh's X-Force uniform-clad shoulders back against the wall. "Why did you never notice me?!"  
"I did, Kevin. I always noticed you." Josh's voice remains monotonous. "You always put your left glove on first, and remove it first too. You paint with a metal handled brush so that you don't have to wear your gloves when enjoying your hobby. When you get stressed, you push your right hand through your hair and lock your jaw."  
"What did you just say?" Kevin falls backwards, staring at Josh in disbelief.  
"I'm not repeating it, Ford." Josh replies bluntly, as if to make up for the tenderness of his previous words.  
"You hate me!" Kevin states, still not believing.  
"I've never hated you. I've hated myself for feeling this way about you, but I've never hated you." Again Josh's voice drops to a whisper.  
"No... No, Selene said you'd do this! She told me you'd screw with my head to get what you want!" Kevin shuffles backwards on the ground, his eyes never leaving Josh's.  
"I'm not screwing with you." Josh turns his face away. "I wish I was."  
"I loved you, Foley!" As tears stream from Kevin's darkened eyes, his expression seems to soften more.  
"I know." Josh whispers, unmoving. It is, of course, a lie. He had no idea that Kevin had felt that way.  
"And Laurie was so beautiful..." Kevin continues. "I told myself it was her I wanted. But it wasn't... I cared for her so much, but not like I cared for you."  
"I know." Josh repeats, unsure of what to say.  
"But you were so selfish!" Kevin's tone sharpens again. "You didn't give a shit about what I felt for you! And now you need to be hurt like you hurt me!"  
Again, Josh replies with a simple, "I know."  
"I'll kill you, y'know! I'm not scared!" Kevin threatens, though his tone indicates that he's most likely lying. Josh kneels up and leans towards Kevin, who promptly falls back. Josh can feel every breath on his skin and wonders if Kevin's heart is racing like his is. He knows that if he could touch the other mutant's skin, he could sense Kevin's body's reaction to everything he did. He wants that.  
"Kevin... You've spent so long not being able to touch. Now you can - now you can touch _me_." Josh whispers, drawing closer still.  
"I can touch Selene. She cares about me. She's not like you!" Josh can tell that Kevin is torn now, and it's painful to see.  
"She's using you, Ford. You need to see that." Again, Josh sticks to one, level tone.  
"She cares about me!" Kevin cries, turning his face away and tearing at his hair.  
"No, Kev. She doesn't understand you. Your gift-"  
" _Gift_?" Kevin draws back, and suddenly every Josh has previously said is forgotten. "You think never being able to touch anyone is a _gift_?!"  
"Kevin, your mutation is amazing." Josh sighs, slumping back, defeated.  
"Don't." Kevin narrows his eyes, his voice a low growl. "I know what I am - what I do. And I definitely don't need you lying to make me feel better!"  
"Wow, you really are fucking oblivious, aren't you?!" Josh snaps sarcastically, totally done with Kevin's self-pity.  
"I should've killed you earlier when I had the chance." Kevin snarls, but the threat is empty of all meaning.  
"Go ahead." Flinging out his arms, Josh shrugs. "Kill me. I hurt you. I ignored what we felt for each other. And on top of that, I let our friends die. Laurie, and DJ and everyone on the bus that day. No one will miss me. The school has practically forgotten I exist. My family disowned me. I have no one. So, sure. Kill me. I'm not scared of death, Wither."  
"So..." Kevin breathes heavily, seeing things clearly suddenly - Joshua Foley doesn't care for his own life. "I end this now? I get to hurt you like I always wanted, and you'll be out of my way forever? I can move on?"  
"Exactly." Josh replies simply.  
"But won't you just heal? Are you just doing this to make me look stupid? To belittle me again?" Kevin draws back a little more.  
"No. I can control it. I'm just a normal guy for you now." Josh drops his head to stare at the floor. "Are you gonna do it, or what?"  
"Look at me, Foley." Kevin orders, yet the words lack their desired harshness.  
"Yes." Josh replies simply, his voice empty of all emotion, yet painfully weak.  
"Give me your hand." Kevin demands, moving a little closer. Josh follows the order cleanly, holding up his left hand between them. For a moment, Kevin stares at the gold skin, composing his mind and telling himself that he _can_ do this. Strangely softly, Kevin takes Josh's hand in his own and Josh groans lowly, his legs spasming under him as the pain spreads too-quickly up his forearm.  
Dropping Josh's damaged hand carelessly; Kevin takes another deep breath, forcing himself to continue.  
"Apologize. For everything." He growls and Josh only moans in response. "Now, Foley!"  
"I'm sorry, Wither!" Josh sobs, the pain up his left forearm unlike anything he's ever witnessed. "So sorry!"  
"For what?!" Kevin demands.  
"For hurting you... For-" Josh moans again. "For being selfish. For letting Laurie die. For all of it!"  
"You ruined everything." It is obvious, to Elixir, that Kevin has no qualms about killing him now. "Everything I am now is because of you!"  
"Kevin..." Josh gasps, shaking his head. "Kill me... Please..." He begs, the pain almost overwhelming. He didn't expect this - the pain, the torture. He expected death, but this is so much worse.  
"I've wanted to hear that for so long, Elixir. I dreamt of you begging to die." Kevin swipes a finger across Josh's cheek almost impossibly lightly. This results in a strong line of decay across Josh's face that tears at and destroys his flesh. Josh releases a low scream of agony, but still refuses to engage his healing abilities.  
Kevin holds his hand just inches from Josh's face, preparing to take the next step and _kill_ the boy he loves. In that moment, Josh's eyes flick up to meet Kevin's own.  
"Heal." Kevin orders quietly, dropping his hand. He realizes that he can't do this and he was crazy to even think he could. Josh's eyes flutter closed, the pain too much, and this sends Kevin into a panic. "Josh! Heal yourself now!"  
Josh moans loudly, tears streaming steadily down his face. The pain throws his concentration off so much that Kevin's words mean nothing.  
"Wait! Elixir! I don't want this! Josh! Please!" Kevin begs, attempting to pull the healer from his pain-induced daze. "I'm sorry! Heal! Please! Josh!"  
"Kevin..." Josh gasps, his eyes flitting open.  
"Josh! Heal! Please!" Kevin sobs, aching to take Josh's face in his hands and force him to look into his eyes. Kevin Ford has never hated his mutation more.  
"But- You- You want-" Josh stutters through excruciating and indescribable pain.  
"No! I can't do it! I can't! Please! Heal!" Kevin pleads past the inexplicable tears. Josh moans lowly and locks his eyes shut. At first, this panics Kevin more, but then he notices the wound on Josh's cheek sealing shut.  
But now there's a problem - Josh can feel the efforts of healing himself begin to drain his mutation and his energy. He knows it won't be long before he passes out, and he has something he needs to do.  
Thrusting his still healing hand out, he pulls the still shocked-frozen Kevin forwards and kisses him deeply. Kevin moans and tries to push back, fearful of hurting Josh, but relaxes when he realizes that Josh's mutation is protecting him. Pulling Kevin closer, Josh deepens the kiss, pushing his now-healed hands into the brunette's thick hair.  
But now Kevin is confused, because there's something inside him that starts to ache, and soon a strange sensation takes his whole body.  
"Elixir, what-" he pants, breaking the kiss. "What are you doing?"  
"Shut up, I'm trying to concentrate!" Josh hisses, before kissing Kevin again, more passionately now. Understandably, Kevin has never been more confused than he is right now, but he finds no reason to pull back. Instead, he relaxes into the kiss, ignoring the sharp ache in his body, and complies when Josh pushes him back to lie on the hard ground.  
"Come on, goddammit!" Josh hisses, straddling Kevin's hips and kissing him again. Kevin wants to ask what Josh is trying to achieve, but he just can't find the compulsion to pull away.  
Suddenly, a searing pain shoots through Kevin's chest and he bucks up from the ground a little.  
"Sorry." Josh actually _blushes_. "Misjudged that."  
"What?" Kevin frowns, breathing heavily, but before he can get an answer, Josh is kissing him again. There is another shorter, weaker pain similar to the first, and Josh pulls back, looking down at Kevin.  
"Dammit, your biology is fucked up." Josh complains tiredly. "Open your mouth."  
"What?" Kevin has barely gotten his head around the fact Josh Foley _kissed him_ \- so now, he's really confused.  
"Open wide, Darkness." Josh orders mockingly, though his fatigue begins to show more. "I need to check something."  
Frowning, Kevin complies. Josh quickly leans down and presses at Kevin's teeth and gums.  
"Thank fuck." He sighs, collapsing to the ground beside Kevin now. "You've got about three minutes before I pass out. Talk, Ford."  
"Wait. What did you just do to me?" Kevin sits up, his frown deepening.  
"That bitch screwed with your biology. That weird ass techno-organic virus-y thing wasn't good for you. I fixed you. You're human again. Well, mutant again. Whatever." Josh shrugs carelessly, closing his eyes.  
"You took it away? The virus?" Kevin stares at the other boy, entirely unsure of how to feel.  
"The stupid affliction with the tacky, sharpened canines? Yup." Josh replies simply.  
"Why?" Kevin pulls back.  
"Because now you can come home." Josh whispers tiredly, his tone notably weak now.  
"Home?" Kevin breathes, the disbelief clear in his voice. Despite try to fight it, a small smile pushes onto his lips. "Where's that, Foley?"  
Josh shrugs, the exhaustion obviously messing with his head a little. "Somewhere with me."  
"Can I touch you?" Kevin asks quietly, not wanting to risk touching Josh's skin without the healer's mutation protecting himself. Josh nods. "Okay." Kevin whispers, brushing Josh's fringe away from his face, causing him to open his eyes. "I love you, Elixir." He leans down and kisses Josh slowly. It's strange because he's never taken the lead and kissed anyone before. He never thought he'd be able to kiss anyone after his mutation manifested. It feels spectacular, and beautiful.  
"Umm... Kev?" Josh pushes him back weakly. "Hate to spoil the fun, but I think I'm gonna pass out now."  
"Oh my god. Really?" Kevin pulls back immediately, looking down at Josh with a curious expression. "What do I do now?"  
Josh shrugs, before his eyes roll back and close.  
"Jesus Christ, Foley." Kevin hisses, rolling his eyes. Still, he tugs on his gloves and takes Josh into his arms, careful not to touch his skin directly.  
He has no idea what he's doing. But suddenly it feels like following Selene isn't the only way out. He's safe with Josh. He sees that now. As long as he can escape this place - maybe even get back to New York - everything will be okay. Everything will be perfect.

-  
\- - -  
-

Josh opens his eyes when the steady and irritatingly familiar beeps of a heart rate monitor wake him. He winces as the harsh white lights in the room make him feel a little groggy. Pushing his hand over his eyes, he sits up in the hospital bed. But now he stops, inspecting his hand with curiosity. It's gold. _Completely_. Not the slightest hint of black. He frowns, confused. He can't feel his black form on his skin anywhere, for the first time since Stryker. It doesn't make sense.  
"Hi." A quiet, slightly distracted, voice speaks up from somewhere near the end of the bed.  
Josh smiles widely. "What are you doing here, Darkness?"  
"Do you even know where _'here'_ is, Foley?" Kevin bites his lip in concentration, flicking his eyes between Josh and the sketch pad balanced on his legs, his feet propped up on the end of the bed as he reclines back in a plastic chair. "Stay still."  
"It's the school infirmary. Unfortunately, this is kinda what I remember most about this place." Josh pouts, eyeing Kevin suspiciously. "Why can't I move?"  
"Because your skin is a pain in the ass the get right." Kevin murmurs, trading a strong yellow coloured pencil for a paler tone. Josh notes that it must be difficult to draw at all with gloves on.  
"You're drawing me?" He raises an eyebrow.  
"Technically, I've already drawn you. Right now, I'm finishing the colours." Kevin explains, frowning deeply at the paper. "I had to do the initial sketch without a reference because you look a lot less attractive when comatose. You also dribble a lot."  
"No, I don't!" Josh argues, yet his hand snaps up his face just in case.  
"Whatever. Here." Kevin takes out a black fine liner and signs the drawing before tossing the pad onto the bed so that it lands in Josh's lap. "I've already wasted five hours in here trying to get your skin looking good enough, I ain't wasting any more."  
"How long did this take you, Kev?" Josh takes up the pad - his eyes widened, eyebrows raised. The piece is a relatively close up portrait of Josh, showing him only shoulders-up. In the image, he is depicted in front of a dark, starry sky and looks off to the side with bright smile. There is a black mark on his neck which seems to be in the process of being tugged from his skin by the night sky.  "It's amazing."  
"Three days. I started it when I brought you back here. Dr McCoy said I needed to find something to do until you woke up. It was either that or danger room practice and, to be honest, the new students here suck." Kevin shrugs and stands. "It's good you're awake, I guess. I'll go tell the teachers."  
"Wait, Kev!" Josh pushes up more in the bed, still a little fragile. "How are you feeling?"  
"Weak." Kevin replies bluntly.  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fixed you without you asking me to." Josh sighs, his eyes falling back to the sketch pad. "I was being selfish."  
"Yes, you were." Kevin states strongly, heading for the door.  
"Wither!" Josh pushes out of the bed, his mutation allowing him to quickly regain his strength. "Did you mean it? That you..." Josh lowers his voice. "That you love me?"  
Kevin stops, but doesn't turn back. "Yes, Josh. I meant it."  
"I love you too, Kevin!" Josh blurts out suddenly, forcing himself to say the words before he has the chance to chicken out.  
"Go back to bed, Foley." Kevin's tone is harsh, but Josh can see the small smile pull up the corners of Kevin's mouth as the brunette looks back over his shoulder at him.  
"No way!" Josh grins happily, grabbing Kevin's wrist and pulling their bodies together.  
"You're so annoying. Can't you do as you're told?" Kevin attempts to remain serious, but his smirk gives him away.  
"Of course not." Josh shrugs, before kissing him deeply.  
"Don't feel bad about the virus." Kevin whispers between kisses. "I don't need it anymore."  
"Why? Because you're no longer try to murder the beautiful, blonde healer?" Josh teases.  
"Something like that. Now, shut up and kiss me." Kevin orders, pulling Josh closer and extremely enjoying the fact the golden mutant wears no more than his underwear.  
Josh complies quickly - a deep, romantic kiss that somehow communicates everything he feels like he has to say. _'I missed you'. 'I love you'. 'I'm sorry'. 'You're everything to me'._ _  
_"Oh my god!" Josh pulls back suddenly. "The X-Force! What happened? Are they-"  
"They're fine!" Kevin chuckles quietly. "A little worse for wear, but still breathing."  
"I can't believe I didn't think about them, I-"  
"Shut up, Foley. They know you're safe. That's all that matters for now." Kevin smiles and Josh notes that he rarely saw Kevin smile when they went to school together. His smile is beautiful and Josh makes a mental memo to evoke that expression as often as possible. Maybe it's so stunning because it's so rare? Josh isn't sure. But he knows it's breath-taking, and suddenly feels 110% in love with the boy in front of him.  
"I've loved you for so long, Kevin." He whispers, feeling it necessary.  
"Why- Why did you never tell me?" Kevin frowns, looking into Josh's golden eyes and slightly missing the blue that was there when they first met.  
"Why did _you_ never tell _me_?" Josh retorts with a sigh. "It was scary. You were a guy. And a _Hellion_. And you couldn't touch anyone. All of that made me think that maybe we shouldn't be together."  
"You were scared of falling for me, because I was on a different training squad to you?" Kevin rolls his lips to hide his laughter. "That's stupid!"  
"You know Julian would've kicked my ass for messing with his team. He was already looking for a reason!" Josh shrugs, unable to resist a small smirk.  
Kevin sighs, shaking his head and laughing, before his eyes lock with Josh's and a different, new smile takes his features. "I love you, Josh."  
"I love you too, Kevin." Josh smiles, before teasingly adding, "For some reason."  
"You should go back to bed." Kevin orders subtly.  
"Only if you join me." Josh flirts, biting his lip.  
"You see, if you were anyone else, I could blame your inappropriate behaviour on the morphine, but morphine doesn't work on you, so I know you're just being your irritating, vulgar self." Kevin sighs, attempting - and failing - to resist a smirk. "Bed. Now. I'm gonna tell the others you're awake."  
"You're no fun." Josh teases, reluctantly climbing back into the bed as Kevin exits the room.  
Taking up the sketch pad, he flicks through the pages. Frowning at the sketches, he's torn. Each image is perfect and spectacular. But all of them, other than the portrait of Josh, depict something Kevin has obviously seen through his decay sight - his ability to see organic matter in its withered form. Josh runs his fingers over the art, tilting his head a little, when he notices some words hastily scribbled on the back of the top piece of paper. Pulling the portrait from the pad, Josh turns it to read what has been written.

\---  
  
 _'Dear Elixir,  
I'm sorry. I know that doesn't really do much. _ 'Sorry' _is what you say when you forget a birthday, or break someone's iPod, or something. Nothing can come close to making everything up to you. But I'll try. I'll be anything you want me to be - or nothing, if you want that - to try to fix this._  
 _As great as you are, you're not the most observant. So, I'm guessing you didn't notice that - despite never being around to see you in your black form - I included your dark skin in this drawing? Yeah. I thought not._  
 _Selene told me about it. She was watching. She knew when you killed Stryker. So, she told me in an attempt to turn me away from you. It worked. Because it made me resent you. In a way, it felt like you were able to choose between being good or bad; and you chose bad. As someone who can only ever be bad, that hurt. And as someone who was madly in love with you, that hurt even more. I fell for you because you were life, and I was death. You were everything I wanted to be. So, hearing of you going dark tore me apart._  
 _When I found you, she had planted so many things in my mind about you. She wanted me to hate you. She wanted to be the only one who gained any of my attention. She wanted me to serve her, without distractions. And you always had been my biggest distraction._  
 _So, she told me that you didn't care about staying light. She made me think that you were so full of your own self-importance, that I would never be good enough. She said that you not saving Laurie was just to spite me. And I believed her, because I never did feel good enough for you, so I assumed everything else was true._  
 _But now I realize how foolish I was. I can't ever forgive myself for hurting you, Josh. I love you. But I understand why you might never want to talk to me again when you wake up, so I hope to be gone by then._  
 _Thank you, and I'm sorry._  
 _I think you're always perfection - black or gold._  
 _Kevin.'_  


\---

  
Josh dropped the paper into the bed. He didn't know what to say, or even how to move. Kevin knew that he was a murderer. He suddenly felt like a monster. Maybe Selene was right, and he didn't care about remaining in his gold form.  
"Hey, I was talking to Dani, and she said-" Kevin's words cut off as he re-entered the room, noting Josh's dazed expression. "Josh?"  
"Did you mean this?" Josh held up the paper. "Were you going to leave before I woke up?"  
"Dr McCoy said you'd be down for at least a week..." Kevin dropped his head, staring at his feet. "I was planning on going once I'd finished your portrait."  
"But- I-" Josh sighs. "Why? I love you."  
"Well, I didn't know that. And I'd just tried to kill you. I thought you'd hate me." Kevin whispers sadly.  
"I could never hate you, Kevin. _Never_." Josh shakes his head slowly, watching Kevin intently.  
"So... You want me to stay?" Kevin actually _blushes_ at this thought.  
"Of course I do." Josh frowns now. "Well, that's if the school actually wants us back." He laughs. "I mean, look at us - we're a mess!"  
"You're never a mess, Foley, and you know it." Kevin teases, sitting heavily on the end of the bed.  
"True. I'm flawless." Josh laughs, taking hold of Kevin's shirt and pulling him closer. "Now, are you gonna kiss me or what?"  
"Umm..." Kevin blushes more, causing Josh to roll his eyes.  
"You're such a virgin." Josh smirks, before kissing Kevin passionately. Kevin bites Josh's lower lip lightly, as a subtle reminder of Josh's success in removing the virus from Kevin's body. And Josh comes to a happy conclusion in that moment...  
 _Three days in a coma was definitely worth it!_


End file.
